Venezuelan president, Monaca the X (we know it's actually "Monica the X" but we refuse to correct this out of absolute disrespect) was feeling bored on a Thursday evening, and as you know, the ruler of the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela gets a little "quirky" when he has nothing better to do.

One day, he decided to try an old technique he learnt from his grand grand grand grand grand grand grand... (grandmother) to help solve a very embarrassing issue he's been having for quite awhile now

As you know, our trusty reporter, Paparazzi Nahobino, once again, camera in hands, uninvitedly climbed into the window of the Miraflores palace, zooming his camera, only to find the president, Monaca the X, allegedly dipping his (probably stinky) feet in immeasurable quantities of his brand-made "Beijing Corn™ (not actually produced in Beijing)" to what he claims would help with his callouses (his words being: "investing in smoother feet represent a significant sociocultural and economical advance for the country"

As it turns out, he made the whole food industry of Venezuela to focus production on Beijing Corn™ and nothing but Beijing Corn™.

It would've been a good idea, putting food of the plate of millions of Venezuelan citizens in need, but instead of giving it to the people of Venezuela, he kept using it SOLELY with the purpose of dipping his feet in them, leaving reserves upon reserves of Beijing Corn™ unusable.

This caused a mayor hunger crisis, as there was no food left to eat for any of the citizens, and EVEN the vice president herself, who later caught him during one of his dipping sessions

As quoted by her "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING MONACA, WHERE THE HELL DID ALL THIS FUCKING CORN CAME FROM, THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!" intellectual words from her side we must say

The president this time didn't respond to the allegations, but instead, he buried his head into the corn like an ostrich trying to pretend he asphyxiated and died to avoid any further consequences

We didn't hear anything from our president ever since, for as even until now he's still hiding inside his tub of corn, most likely surviving off chewing the corn grains, but we know for sure, he can't do this forever, he'll eventually run out of corn to chew on and will be obligated to drop his tantrum and come out

But not everything is bad, as the Venezuelan president's intention actually worked, opening room to a possibly successful active business of internationally selling pictures of his feet on the internet, maybe that way he can solve the hunger issue, or not, and he'll just do an equally bad management decision next time, if not worse.

Stay tuned for more news!!

CONTENT WARNING: graphic picture of the Venezuelan president being a nasty motherfucker: